She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Help. Why am I so naked?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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