i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
