so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
