3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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