Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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