I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
