Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
