After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
