ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
