hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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