Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
