I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
