1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
