when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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