I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
