I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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