No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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