Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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