dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
