And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
