her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
