he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
