Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
