you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
