I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
