i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
