I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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