Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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