It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
