I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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