am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
