dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
