It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
