Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
