and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
