Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
