OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
