Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
