You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
