Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
