let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
