turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
