I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
