Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
two words: eviction party
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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