Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
