Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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