last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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