i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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