also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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