the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
