Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
