god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize