Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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