I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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