They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
