Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
