so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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