yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
