Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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