wat bout pragnant strippers??
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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