so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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