Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
