I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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