How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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