I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
