i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
