Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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