yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize